How many times have you heard that change is the only constant thing in life?
Honestly, I used to be so. fearful of change. I am the a girl who orders the same food, goes to the same favorite restaurants, and am a creature of habit. Change has not been a welcome thing in my life.
It’s crazy how quickly things can change. I have grown and changed in my perspective regarding change. I am coming to you as someone who had no choice but to face a new beginning.
It was with personal pain and experience that I felt like I entered my new beginning a few years ago. I had recently lost my husband to cancer, and I was not ready for a life going forward without him. I tried to fight it. I stayed in bed for almost two weeks. I went to his grave every day and was completely unwilling to accept my new life. I did not welcome nor wanted a new beginning. I guess you could say that I was kicking and screaming. I was so deeply sad while living in denial. I told my family and friends that I had not signed up for this. Can you relate?
Whether we choose a new beginning or life chooses it for us, there will always be change. I want to share some things that happened to me. You see, I have grown most in life by going through my times of unwanted change. There are so many new beginnings in life, and how we face them will shape our future.
How do you adapt to change? I believe most of us love the thought of certainty in our life. We tend to have our own view of what our life and circumstances are, or at least how we want them to be. I usually am okay with things if I can choose them, but it’s much harder when change occurs and we have zero choice.
Change is inevitable in life, and it took my husband’s death for me to face my hardest new beginning.
I have a close friend who was blindsided by a husband who left her. I have another close friend, who was let go from her job after 30 years. I have a friend who started a business. The business failed, and he lost a significant amount of money. Whether we choose to do something new or life brings us a new unwanted circumstances, we have no choice but to face “the new.”
Reflecting on why I tend to dread change, I realized it was coming from a state of fear. I look at the future now, not fearful of change. I realized it’s not our place to understand why something happens to us. We simply have to accept it and move forward.
Some things have helped me on my journey to move forward. I had to let go of what I thought was going to be. In life, we should focus forward and look for the possibilities and opportunities ahead of us. Appreciate the past for the lessons and memories, but don’t get caught up in living their past. Daily, we are given our own unique opportunities to grow, evolve, and accept things that are out of our control.
After I was widowed, I kept yearning for the past and what had been. As difficult as it was, I had to “go on” and accept. This was easier said than done. I didn’t want to go on without my husband. I was going to grow old with him. We had plans for the future. I was living in denial after he passed away. I felt that if I allowed myself to be happy without him that I was betraying him.
Change is inevitable in life.
I felt guilty and fearful about taking the necessary steps to move forward. I had to address my feelings. One day, I realized that Tyler had fought so hard to live, and he would want the same for me. I had to face my new beginning without fear but with courage. I had to be open to the possibilities of what was ahead for me and my children.
I had changed. I saw life differently. I knew that life is a gift. My new beginning started with knowing that preserving my past with my husband was a sacred part of my journey. I choose to honor the past and be grateful for all that it was, but I could not live in it.
Even during the hardest of times, there is always good to be seen. I would see my new beginning without Tyler with a heart of appreciation. I decided to appreciate every single day on this earth as if it were my last. I would honor my late husband by truly living life. I would raise our children with more gratitude, knowing this was not our choice to live life without him. Often, we have no control of the new beginnings that brings a massive change into our life.
For me, as I dealt with the death of my husband, I grieved and began to reframe my new beginning with hope. It was up to me to create a new future filled with dreams and hopes for my myself and our children. Trust your new. Embrace the changes that are inevitable. Be open to the beauty of building a new beginning.
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